The Tale of the Gallant Familiar
by RedhathackerSin
Summary: Beautiful? Not really. Divine? He really didn't get along with divinity. Wise and Strong? He supposed those fit, every once in awhile anyway. Louise summons the original Toad Sage to Halkeginia. The bathhouses should beware.


Jiraiya felt at peace as he slowly drifted into the depths. Even if he had been utterly defeated by his onetime pupil, he had been able to send out a missive that would hopefully let Konoha triumph over the coming threat. Nagato had been thorough in his attempt on Jiraiya's life and so the old Toad Hermit welcomed the inky blackness that was already on the edge of his vision.

He pondered the meaning of his death as he was drifting and decided that it was finally time to write a sequel to his first book, but what would be the title? He thought for a few seconds before a content smile spread across his face. Yes, _The Tale of Uzumaki Naruto _had a nice ring to it.

Just as he decided on this title, he heard a voice echoing around him, even though he was slowly falling to the deep.

"_My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call…_"

Well he didn't know about divine or beautiful, especially in the state he was in, but wise and powerful? He could perhaps be those. Before he had any more time to contemplate the words being spoken, they continued.

"_I wish from the very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and appear!_"

Jiraiya could only listen as he suddenly felt a pull behind him, and then he was spinning off in what had to be the most annoying reverse summoning that he had ever been through, and that included the first time he had gone to the toads.

And then everything was drowned out in the noise of an explosion.

* * *

Louise Francoise Lu Blanc de La Vallière was almost paralyzed with fear as she heard her name called by Professor Colbert. This was the make or break event in which she would showcase that she was _not_ a zero as everyone kept on telling her. She _would _succeed. Taking a deep breath she stepped forward and began her chant.

"My servant that exists somewhere in thus vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call…"

She pushed as much willpower into her spell as she possibly could, she _would not_ fail this one spell.

"I wish from the very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and appear!"

For a terrifying moment, nothing happened. Then the field that they had been summoning the familiars on was engulfed in her biggest explosion to date. Louise coughed as the dust was thrown everywhere, and she heard other students in much the same state as her. She couldn't see anything, but she definitely heard something breathing within the dust. Her hope soared as she realized that she had finally been able to do a spell right! But just as soon as that thought entered her mind, the smoke began to clear and her elation was slowly turning into horror.

Standing roughly where she judged the epicenter of the explosion to be was what looked like a bear of a man. He had long white hair, was dressed in green and red and had the most outlandish footwear that she had ever seen. However, it wasn't his attire that caught her attention. No, that honor went to the grievous wounds that he had.

She felt her heart drop as she realized that the man was covered in blood and, if her eyes weren't deceiving her, his left arm looked as though it had been blown off. He was also inexplicably soaked. Had her explosions finally gotten someone hurt?

It was at this moment that the rest of the students were able to see what she had summoned.

"Holy crap! Louise killed someone!"

Louise tried to deny this accusation, but she found that her mouth wasn't working at the moment. She could only stand with her wand raised and mouth opened in horror as a blur rushed past her. Professor Colbert rushed to the stranger that she had killed and bent over him. After a moment of examination he glanced at Louise sharply.

"Get a skilled Water Mage out here! He's still alive, but the wound on his throat is alarming!"

Louise heard the words, but didn't think she was in a position to move. However, Colbert raised his voice and the tone he used sent shivers down her spine.

"Now!"

Louise finally snapped out of her stupor at that commanding tone. Turning around she ran as fast as she could toward the Medical Ward. She burst in and had to pant out Colbert's request.

"Somebody's been injured! Please hurry!"

The Water mages wasted no time and followed Louie back to the sight of her summoning. Colbert looked up as she arrived and nodded at her. He then turned to the Water mages.

"I've been able to stabilize him somewhat, but I'm not a true Healer, it's only battlefield medicine that I can do."

One of the healers nodded in acceptance.

"That's alright, leave the rest to us."

The two mages that had followed her got to work quickly and the bear of a man was being moved to the Medical Ward.

"Well, I think for now we'll have to wait until he's in a more stable condition before we can finish the contract."

Louise glanced sideways at Colbert. Clearly he wasn't as fazed by Louise most likely killing someone as she was. She bit her lip in fear. What if he died and she had to summon something again and then the same result happened. She didn't want to keep killing people! Even if it was unintentional. She would just have to pin her hopes on the familiar she had already summoned. Hopefully he would survive.

As she was contemplating this a tanned and busty red head sidled up to her.

"Well Louise, I always thought you were a Zero, but it looks like your explosions have finally killed someone!"

Louise gritted her teeth in frustration at the red head's accusation.

"Shut up, Kirche!"

Kirche merely laughed haughtily at Louise's distress.

"Well hopefully you don't try to summon anything else, to think that you'd summon a commoner and half kill him!"

Louise felt her fist clench in anger and shame at Kirche's taunting. She closed her eyes to try and hide the tears that she could feel beginning to gather.

"Oh well, I suppose we might have to call you Louise the Killer after this!"

Louise heard jarring laughter at Kirche's taunts. It seemed that the others had come over to join in on the taunting.

"I think that might actually be worse than being a Zero! What if she kills one of us next!?"

"No way! She's too scary, we should expel her immediately!"

Louise took a deep breath and tried to gather her composure. She opened her eyes and saw through a watery gaze that Kirche looked slightly startled. Well, good. That Germanian bitch deserved to feel bad. Louise turned on her heel and stalked away from her jeering classmates towards the Medical Ward. She would need to be there to see what became of her familiar.

* * *

Jiraiya felt himself floating. He tried to remember what had happened, but it seemed to be slipping away. He had been fighting his former pupil, had been gravely wounded and then tossed into the sea. After that he had hallucinated a reverse summoning. Perhaps that's how death actually felt like? What a strange way to go onto the next world.

However, he soon became aware that he could actually feel a soft bed beneath him along with a soft pillow and sheets. Making sure that his breathing was completely calm he snapped open his eyes.

The room he was in was bathed in moonlight. He glanced around and his eyes fell on a girl in a maid outfit gathering what looked like bloody towels. His eyes rose up as he took in her appearance. She seemed to be quite the beauty by the looks of it.

Short black hair, a maid outfit that couldn't hide her figure, and she was moving quite quietly. Finally she turned around and he was met with blue eyes.

For a moment the two merely looked at each other and then the maid let out a small gasp.

"Mr. Familiar, you're awake!"

Before he had a chance to try and answer the maid, she had rushed out of the room. Well, that went well, and why did she call him Mr. Familiar? Sighing, he attempted to sit up, but was stopped short by something. He felt no pain in his throat.

His right hand flew to his neck and he was shocked to feel that it had been completely healed. Whoever had patched him up had done a damn good job, perhaps something that even rivaled Tsunade's work. Before anything else happened, the door opened once more, this time it was pretty much thrown open and in strolled two obvious nurses and a ridiculously old man. He frowned as he took in the man's appearance. He much preferred the company of the cute maid.

The man had one of the fullest beards he had ever seen, reaching down to his waistline and he was dressed in black robes hiding his figure from the world. He was also supported by a wooden staff. Jiraiya was able to complete his analysis in a second and judging by the way the two nurses were deferent to the guy, he was obviously someone in a position of power.

"Well now, I must say you gave all of us quite the scare, especially the young mage that summoned you. She thought she had killed you!"

Jiraiya grinned at that. Whatever summoned him here had definitely saved him. He would have most likely died if she hadn't called him to wherever here was. He glanced down to his left and grimaced. It seemed his arm wasn't able to be saved. When he looked back up he saw that the old man had noticed his expression.

"We were able to heal all your other wounds, but unfortunately, your arm was gone and so we couldn't reattach it."

Jiraiya merely grinned to mask his slight alarm. Without an arm he couldn't perform some of his more deadly jutsu, but he was a freaking Sannin, he could get by with just one arm. Finally he spoke, and damn did it feel good to be able to hear his own voice again, even if it was a little rough.

"That's no problem. I can get by with one arm. Now then, I suppose you have my thanks, if you hadn't summoned me here, then I wouldn't be alive."

The old man seemed slightly surprised by his statement.

"Do you mean to tell me that your summoning wasn't the cause of your injuries?"

Jiraiya merely laughed boisterously.

"A mere summoning wouldn't be able to injure the Gallant Jiraiya!"

It was here that he would normally go through his introduction dance, but he decided to forgo it as he only had one arm and his balance was probably screwed to all hell right now. The man seemed amused by Jiraiya's statement if the raising of his eyebrows were any indication.

"Well then, Jiraiya was it, I think it's time you met the person who summoned you."

With that said the man stepped back and Jiraiya felt his own eyebrows rise. Standing in the doorway was a little slip of a girl who looked no more than 13. She had hair the color of his student's teammate and was wearing a white blouse and black skirt combo as well as a cloak. All in all she looked like some sort of magician. She was also looking at him with a hint of shame and anger.

"So I wasn't the one who had caused you to get hurt?"

Jiraiya almost winced at the hopeful tone she displayed. Well, he was never one to make a girl cry. He once more let loose a boisterous laugh.

"Do you have any idea who you're talking to little lady! I am the Gallant Jiraiya! Like I told that old man, a mere explosion wouldn't be able to defeat me! Now then, what's your name?"

The girl's shame was rapidly disappearing and in its place was only anger. However, before that anger could really be turned on him, the old man stepped in.

"I think it's time you finish the contract."

The girl seemed to calm down at that and pulled out a wooden stick that vaguely looked like a magic wand to Jiraiya.

"You should be grateful, commoner. I'm sure this doesn't happen often to you, and you've probably never kissed a noble."

Jiraiya felt his alarm spike at that. He was no stranger to kissing, but he had to draw the line at whatever age the girl was.

"Well, I'm sure you're a very nice person, but I don't usually kiss preteen girls, it goes against my nature."

Evidently this was the wrong thing to say, if the anger that flared across the girl's face was anything to go by.

"I'm sixteen!"

Jiraiya had to pause in amazement at that, and it was then that the tiny sixteen year old struck. She kissed him full on the lips. For a moment nothing happened and then he was engulfed in quite a bit of pain. It felt as if his veins were on fire. What the hell had that little slip of a girl done to him? Had she poisoned him? Suddenly the pain in his left stumped doubled and he felt rather than saw something that would have amazed him if he wasn't in so much pain at the moment. His arm was slowly but surely coming back into existence.

He heard the sharp intakes of breath and knew that even in the place that he had been summoned re-growing a limb wasn't exactly common. Finally, with one more concentrated spurge of pain on his newly formed left hand, whatever had happened came to an end.

Jiraiya breathed heavily for a moment before pinning the girl with a stare. He didn't use any killing intent, merely looked at the girl sternly.

"What was that?"

It seemed he wouldn't be getting any answers out of the girl because she was currently gaping at his new left arm, which he noted now had some form of seal on the back of the left hand. Jiraiya felt his eyebrows rise as he had never seen a seal like the one he now had. Well, that could be intriguing later on, but first things first. He once more pinned the girl with his gaze, this time letting a bit of his intent to kill leak through.

"I _asked_. What was _that_?"

The reaction was instantaneous. The old man had pushed the girl behind him, and the girl looked as though she might wet herself. He sighed as he let go of his killing intent, and noticed as those present relaxed. He inwardly scoffed. As if he would indiscriminately kill the people who had patched him up.

"Well, can I at least ask your names? The gaki over there never did answer that question."

The girl flushed with embarrassment before she stepped around the old man.

"My name is Louise Francoise Lu Blanc de La Vallière. Don't forget it, familiar."

Jiraiya blinked at that overly long and complicated name before he nodded.

"Right, Louise it is then and you?"

His attention was turned to the old man, who had recovered the fastest out of all the people there. He was definitely one to watch out for.

"My name is Osmand, the Headmaster of the Tristain Academy of Magic."

Jiraiya found himself blinking once more. Well, a place that called what they did magic. Clearly he wasn't in Amegakure anymore.

"Alright then, I suppose that works."

Having had the last word, Jiraiya stepped out of the bed. Well, someone had been kind enough to put his geta near, perhaps it was that maid? Smiling, he put his sandals on and faced his gathered audience. Well, it was time to see if his summoning was jacked up.

"Well then, allow me to introduce myself!"

He then began hopping on one foot, one of his arms raised in the air.

"Men flee before my might, woman swoon at the mere sight of me!"

He began to add in some hair twirls for extra effect.

"My enemies shake in fear, while my comrades enjoy my spoils of war!"

Before he went any further, he quickly bit into his thumb and flashed through the required hand signs. He then slammed his palm on the ground and felt the familiar pull as seals spread out. With a puff of smoke he was standing on a bear sized toad.

"I am the Gallant Jiraiya!"

His finish obviously struck awe in his audience if their dropped jaws were anything to go by. He saw Osmand slowly begin clapping, before realizing that no one else was and quickly stopping. Well, whatever. He dismissed the toad and landed firmly on his feet before walking over to the person that had summoned him. She was even shorter when he was standing, but she quickly closed her open mouth at his imposing figure. It seemed she was glaring defiantly at him.

Jiraiya merely smiled before he patted the girl on the head, ruffling her hair.

"Thanks for the save in summoning me kid, let's go talk somewhere."

Before any of the others could react he disappeared into a shunshin of leaves.

* * *

Louise felt as though her temper was going to kill her. Not only had she managed to summon some sort of wacko, he also happened to be a mage. Especially if he was able to pull of that strange speed magic. They were now atop one of the taller towers in the Academy and the man was gaping at the moons. After a few moments of this, she began to feel her temper get the better of her. However, before she could speak, her familiar beat her to it.

"So, there are two moons here. Hey, gaki, you ever hear of Hi no Kuni?"

Louise was baffled by that question, what the hell? Was that some kind of greeting? She slowly shook her head.

"I have no idea what that is."

Jiraiya glanced at her sharply, but it seemed he was alright with expounding.

"It's one of the five Great Nations of where I'm from."

A Great Nation? Why had she never heard of it then?

"Is it even in Halkeginia?"

Judging by the puzzled look on her familiar's face, it probably was not. She slammed a hand to her forehead.

She had summoned some backwater shaman from somewhere that wasn't even on the continent. She could already hear the jeers that she would face tomorrow. Sighing she turned to her familiar to see him scanning the night sky, the frown that had adorned his face deepening by the second.

"Well, it's safe to say that I have no idea where you summoned me to, gaki. I don't recognize any of the stars' positions."

Louise merely huffed in annoyance.

"We'll figure that out later, for now, let's just go to bed."

That said, she had no idea how she was going to get down from the tower, but before she could find a way, she felt a tug on the back of her blouse and was startled to realize she was lifted into the air by her familiar and then held like a sack of potatoes under his arm.

However, before she could utter a word of protest, her familiar _jumped off the tower_. At that point all she could do was scream in terror, but a second later they were on the ground and she was dropped like the previously mentioned potatoes.

Taking a moment to get her heartbeat back to normal, Louise caught her breath. She then felt a righteous fury at her familiar.

"What in the name of the Founder was that!?"

Her familiar merely laughed at her anger.

"A little fall won't stop me, gaki! Now then, lead on."

Louise merely grumbled to herself. Even if her familiar was some sort of freakishly strong barbarian, she still didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. Sighing to herself, she spun on her heel and began making her way toward her room. She just wanted this day to end.

After a few moments they came to the door that led to her room and she opened it with a massive yawn. Once she heard the door close behind her familiar she began to strip down and change into her pajamas, throwing her dirty clothes over her shoulder in the direction of her familiar.

When she was finished she turned around to see her familiar merely standing with his arms crossed, all her clothes strewn on him. She felt heat rise to her cheeks as she realized that her panties were directly on his face.

"What are you doing just standing there!? Go wash those clothes!"

He slowly peeled her undergarments off his face a look of distinct disbelief coloring his expression.

"You summoned me here to do _laundry_?"

She heard his emphasis on laundry and she knew that she was now in a full face flush.

"Shut up! A familiar shouldn't be questioning their Master!"

Jiraiya let out an amused chuff at that. And then he beckoned her closer. She warily approached him and was somewhat alarmed when he crouched down. It actually only brought him to eye level for her. However, the angelic smile on his face was setting off alarm bells in her mind, but she had no idea why.

"Ah, well I have one thing to say to that."

Before she could do anything, he flicked her on the forehead. _Hard_. Hard enough to send her flying back and land her in a heap on the bed. She felt herself tearing at the rough treatment and raised her hands to her forehead where she was sure a huge red welt would form. She turned to scold her familiar, but his expression made her freeze.

It was akin to the way he had looked when he was demanding answers on the ritual that bound him as a familiar. Thankfully, it didn't feel as though there was someone slowly strangling her this time.

"I'm not a slave, gaki. Do your own damn laundry."

Then before she could retort he had opened the door and it was obvious he was about to leave. She opened her mouth to call him back, but he was gone before she could. She was now alone with her thoughts. Apparently she had summoned a familiar that wouldn't even follow their Master's orders.

* * *

Jiraiya strolled through the hallways of the opulent castle that he now found himself in. The moonlight was strong through the windows, probably because there were two freaking moons. That had stumped him as soon as he had seen them. Last he had checked there was only one celestial body hanging in the night sky and suddenly seeing two made him want to go and find a map somewhere to confirm his location.

He kept on walking, lost in thought as his sandals clacked on the hard floors, echoing throughout the halls. He could easily make himself silent by adjusting his weight just so, but there was no point in that at the moment. From what he understood he had been summoned to help out the little mage, but if she thought he was going to just bend over and take orders from someone 30 years his junior, she had another thing coming.

However, he was surprised by how fragile the girl was. When he had had to smack sense into Naruto a flick of that nature would only make his head snap back. Apparently these nobles were quite pampered.

He turned another corner not paying any particular attention to where he was going, when he heard giggling, and a type which he was quite familiar with. He felt the lecherous grin spread across his face at that. Well, it looked like he might have some entertainment tonight after all. Cracking his neck he glanced to the ceiling and making a decision, jumped. Sticking to surfaces with chakra was child's play to him.

Straightening out he walked around the corner to see a blonde and a brunette whispering sweet nothings to each other. Jiraiya got comfortable on the ceiling and listened in.

"Oh Katie, I would love to try a taste of your soufflé!"

Jiraiya almost fell off the ceiling at that. He could only stare in disbelief as the two went back and forth about the soufflé. Was a soufflé some kind of sexual euphemism in this land? As Jiraiya continued to listen he realized that no, it was really a soufflé that the two were talking about. Dragging a hand down his face Jiraiya shook his head in consternation. What were they teaching kids these days?

Huffing in indignation he continued on his way, but he decided to keep on sticking to the ceiling, it was more fun that way.

After a few more moments of aimless wandering he came across a maid that seemed to be struggling under a massive heap of laundry. He was about to dismiss the worker, but did a double take as he recognized her.

Well, well, if it wasn't the maid from the infirmary. He didn't remember her being there for his awesome introduction. Making a snap decision he fell to the ground silently beside her.

"That looks like a heavy load you're trying to carry."

Predictably the maid let out a startled yelp and jumped. Unfortunately this had the side effect of sending the laundry everywhere. Luckily for her Jiraiya was there to stop her from falling on the floor. He chuckled at her startled expression as they were leaned over.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. I don't think I ever got your name in the infirmary."

The maid looked somewhat alarmed at being approached by him, but she quickly vanished from his arms. Well, that was fine. He chuckled as she began to frantically pick up the clothes she had dropped, a blush adorning her features.

"I'm terribly sorry Mr. Familiar, but I need to go and do this laundry. The nobles aren't exactly easy on servants who don't do their jobs."

Jiraiya filed that information away for a later date. He knew it was possible to tell a lot about a person by how they treated their inferiors and how the inferiors treated them in return. Nodding to himself he moved to help the maid gather the strewn clothes.

"Well as it was my fault that the clothes are on the floor, I might as well help you. By the way, my name isn't Mr. Familiar, you may call me Jiraiya."

Siesta spluttered for a moment before she seemed to accept his generosity. It was around this time that it looked as though she realized she had never answered his question.

"Ah. My name is Siesta."

Jiraiya smiled at that. It was time to show that young Casanova how it was done, even if the boy wasn't here at the moment to appreciate the gesture.

"Ah, a beautiful name, it only makes sense that it would go with a beautiful girl."

He grinned in satisfaction as the maid's face lit up in a bright red hue. Yup, he still had it. Rustling the clothes to make the maid come back from her embarrassment he strode forward.

"So, where do we actually take care of the laundry in this place?"

As they worked diligently through the laundry, Siesta began to open up and converse with him. Jiraiya was quite good at menial tasks a necessity in the life of a shinobi, particularly one such as himself, who spent a majority of time on the road away from civilization managing a spy network, so he could dedicate his attention to the conversation. He knew that one of the best ways to get information about a place was to look to the servants. For some reason nobles and the like seemed to forget that the hired help was indeed human and had their own thoughts and opinions. It made them an information goldmine to someone like him.

He listened as she talked about her family in Tarbes and went on to speak about the nobility in this place. Apparently, they used a form of magic to keep the peasants oppressed. Well, that was an annoyance, but by the sounds of it, magic made the nobles quite lazy and also incredibly arrogant. He smirked at this revelation, it just meant that they would be all the more easily manipulated when the time came.

However, their talk eventually came to an end as the laundry was completely finished. He bid Siesta farewell and waited for her to clear a corner before he sprung onto a roof. He used that roof as a springboard to once more get to the top of a tower.

Now that he wasn't being sucker punched by the idea of two moons, he could look over the land from this height. He memorized the various landmarks that were near the castle in case he needed to make a hasty retreat. What he really needed was some sort of map. If he had one of those, he would be able to actually begin to make a plan of action, but so far he had not seen anything that looked like a library. Perhaps he should have slipped that question to Siesta? Well, no use crying over lost opportunities.

He was about to make his way back toward Louise's room, but he felt a shiver go up his spine before he could jump. Any shinobi worth their salt knew to pay attention to their sixth sense. Someone was watching him.

He glanced around, but couldn't see anyone near him on the ground looking up, so that left the sky. He glanced up and for a moment saw nothing. However, he finally saw something shift in the shadows of the sky. Interesting. To think that someone in this land wasn't too shabby at stealth, good enough to be able to not be spotted by him right away. Squinting he could make out a silhouette in the night sky. Judging by the shape, he'd have to say it was a dragon.

Jiraiya let out a low chuckle. Let's see how well his observer's observation skills really were. He turned so that his hands were hidden from view and flashed through a series of hand seals. He let the chakra flow over him and knew that he had succeeded in executing the jutsu. The Touton Jutsu reflected light around him, making him essentially invisible to the naked eye.

He only had to wait for a moment, and then the dragon was on the tower, he was also able to finally see the dragon rider clearly. She was a little slip of a girl, about as big as Louise. Her attire consisted of the standard female uniform to this Academy, but the cloak she was wearing seemed to be a bit big on her and completely covered her form once she dismounted the dragon and looked around. Her blue hair shone in the moonlight and her delicate face was framed by a pair of glasses.

Jiraiya couldn't help it, he was impressed. Even though he was definitely invisible to this girl at the moment, she was still looking in his general direction, and judging by the grip on her staff, she was still alert. Perhaps he would have a little fun at the girl's expense. It wasn't nice to spy on people after all, unless you were a spymaster.

"Oh? And what are you doing on this tower at this time of night?"

He had dropped the jutsu slightly to the girl's left, and the dragon let out some sort of ridiculous noise that sounded something like "Kyui." The girl on the other hand, didn't openly react. In fact if he hadn't seen the slight widening of her eyes, he would have thought she hadn't been surprised at all. He would hate to have to play poker with this girl.

For a moment there was nothing but silence, but it was broken by a slight whisper.

"Observing."

Jiraiya felt an eyebrow rise at that. So she was going to openly admit to spying on him?

"I see. And why exactly do I need to be observed at the moment?"

The girl still had yet to let her guard down against him, and the staff was definitely between the two of them as a defense against5 any kind of attack he might make.

"Dangerous."

Jiraiya let a wry grin slip out at that. It seemed this girl was pretty damn observant after all, to be able to feel how dangerous he actually was. It was a pity she hadn't summoned him. A dragon was pretty impressive though.

"What's your name, gaki?"

Once more there was a moment of silence, he had the impression she was deciding whether or not to answer him.

"Tabitha."

Well, it seemed she was okay with answering his question after all. He then turned his attention to the dragon behind her.

"And this one's?"

The answer was a bit quicker this time around.

"Sylphid."

Sylphid and Tabitha, an interesting combo to be sure, Jiraiya decided. Jiraiya inclined his head to them. This once he would forgo his usual introduction.

"My name is Jiraiya, the Toad Sage."

Tabitha inclined her head in greeting and Sylphid copied her Mater's action, something that didn't escape Jiraiya's notice. He had a feeling that that dragon was a lot smarter than the little blue haired mage was letting him believe. Well, for now that wasn't his problem.

Jiraiya turned to leave. Now that the introductions were over, he had no reason to stay on the top of the tower. He also had something he needed to do.

"Perhaps I'll see you around, gaki."

Throwing a careless hand over his shoulder he disappeared in a shunshin, leaving a startled wind mage and dragon behind.

* * *

Jiraiya was now outside the castle and strolling in the surrounding woods. He was searching for a decent clearing that was far enough away from the castle. He needed to summon Fukusaku or Shima and see if they would be able to reverse summon him home. Konoha would need him, especially now that Nagato had decided to throw his teachings away and bring war to the world.

He bit his thumb with practiced ease and flashed through the signs. A slam of his palm and a puff of smoke later, and standing in front of him with a gob smacked expression was Fukusaku.

The elder toad looked as though he had seen a ghost and if Jiraiya was honest with himself, the toad probably had. So taking a book out of Kakashi's book he raised a hand in greeting.

"Yo."

Apparently this was the wrong way to go as he was immediately clubbed over the head.

"Don't "Yo" me Jiraiya-chan! We thought you were dead!"

Jiraiya couldn't respond to Fukusaku's declaration as he was busy writhing in pain. Why the hell did that thing still hurt so much!?

"Damn it Pa! I could've died!"

His exclamation was met with another hit to the head.

"You idiot! You did die! Naruto-chan was devastated, what the hell are you doing here and not in Konoha!? In fact where is here!?"

Jiraiya could only pant in pain for a moment, but he gestured behind Fukusaku. The old toad turned around and Jiraiya was once more treated to the sight of the toad's jaw dropping open in amazement.

"Jiraiya-chan?"

Jiraiya merely grunted to show that he was listening.

"Are there two moons in the sky?"

He grunted once more, this time with a tone of confirmation.

"I see. Very well then, tell me everything."

It took a little while, but Jiraiya managed to fill in everything about his trip until now. Fukusaku listened intently throughout the explanation, only asking a few questions here and there. The old toad expressed amazement at his re-grown arm, but afterwards calmed down once more. When Jiraiya had finished, he then turned to a topic of his own interests.

"So, what is happening at home?"

He looked on as Fukusaku seemed to age at least fifty years.

"I told you already, in the eyes of Konoha, you're dead. Tome seems to be moving differently here than in Konoha, your death was quite awhile ago. After your 'death' Nagato came to Konoha…."

Jiraiya listened as Fukusaku explained everything that had happened since his "death." He listened as he was told of Naruto's departure to train in Senjutsu. How the boy had devised a way to get around the Kyuubi interfering with his gathering of nature chakra. He was told of Naruto becoming more efficient in the use of Senjutsu than himself and his father, who he now had knowledge of. He listened as Nagato invaded and destroyed Konoha. Then he listened as Naruto appeared before Nagato and defeated the Sixth Paths of Pain, something that Jiraiya wasn't able to do. Then he listened as Naruto convinced Nagato to see the error of his ways, to finally be put back on the path of peace and back to his own teachings.

By the time Fukusaku had finished with the fact that there was a new menace that had been the true leader of the Akatsuki, something he had suspected for awhile now, Jiraiya was feeling a myriad of emotions.

He was sad that his former student had died. He was worried for his current student. He was angry that he had gone and been summoned during these momentous occasions. However, the feeling that he was filled to bursting with, was pride. He was so damned proud of his godson, who was on the road to surpassing those who came before him.

"I see, so Naruto is going to be training to gain control of the Kyuubi."

Jiraiya had sat down on a convenient rock as Fukusaku had been going on. He mulled over all the information for a moment, but came to a decision easily enough. He stood and stretched.

"Well, this place was a nice respite, but I think it's time to try and get back to Konoha. Please reverse summon me to Mt. Myouboko. From there we can get to Konoha."

Fukusaku gave a nod of acknowledgement and disappeared in a puff of white smoke.

Jiraiya crossed his arms and began to wait. However, twenty minutes went by, and still nothing happened. What was going on? Making a decision he once more bit his thumb and flashed through the seals. Another puff of smoke and Fukusaku was once more in the clearing, looking quite frustrated.

He looked up at Jiraiya and let out a huff.

"Well, that was a bust. We tried to summon you back, but it was no good. I don't know what's going wrong, but at the moment it looks as though you can summon us just fine, but we're being blocked by something."

Jiraiya thought about the problem for a moment, before he glanced down at the strange seal on his hand.

"It looks as though I'm going to have to do some research on this side before going home."

He turned away from Fukusaku and began to walk back towards the castle.

"Take care of Naruto while I'm gone."

Fukusaku merely nodded and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

By the time Jiraiya was trudging back into the castle grounds, dawn was approaching. He could see the lightening of the sky. He was feeling a bit sluggish. Even though he had been unconscious, he had still been through a life or death battle that pushed him to his very limits and had been up pretty much the entire night. He would see what Louise was up to this morning and then possibly get a little bite to eat and then get some sleep.

He traversed the castle halls and came to the door that housed the mage who had summoned him. He opened the door and peered inside. It seemed that Louise had at some point fallen asleep, even if it looked as though it was a slightly uneasy slumber.

She was curled up in her blankets and Jiraiya was reminded of a small cat with the way she was curled into her blankets. Shaking his head he entered into the room. He didn't know exactly when the little brat wanted to wake up at, but if the sun was up then it should be okay. With that thought Jiraiya cracked his neck and then flashed through a series of seals. In the next second Louise was drenched from his low powered water jutsu.

"Oi, gaki, get up. We need to talk. I'll wait outside while you change."

With his piece said, Jiraiya turned on his heel and walked out the room, leaving a sputtering mage behind.

* * *

Jiraiya was enjoying the morning air. For some reason the air in this place seemed slightly cleaner than anywhere else he had been. He hadn't tried to enter Sage Mode yet, but he had a feeling that the Nature chakra in this place was quite nice. He glanced to his left and hid a smirk.

Both Louise and he were walking down the halls towards the dining hall. It was a somewhat funny scene with his towering stature, bright clothes, and the distinctive clack that was his geta hitting the ground. It was made all the more amusing considering Louise's hair was still slightly wet and she wore such a disgruntled expression as they headed toward the dining hall. It had been quiet since they began walking, with Louise only strolling past him and he going with the flow to see if she led him to food. However, the silence was becoming a bit stifling and he really did have things to discuss with the tiny mage.

"Well, as interesting as this little excursion has been, I have a few things to say."

Louise made no move one way or another, but she was definitely listening, so he continued.

"I've been wondering about this seal that is on the back of my hand. What exactly does it do?"

Louise narrowed her eyes at him and for a moment it seemed his question would be ignored, but she surprised him by giving an answer.

"It's the symbol of contract between Master and Familiar. I've never seen any kind of runes like the ones you have, but all the other familiars have something similar on their bodies as well."

Jiraiya nodded in thought.

"I see, and I'm guessing it's pretty hard to break this contract, right?"

Louise nodded coolly in response to his question.

"To break the contract, one of us has to die."

Jiraiya stopped walking at that. That would complicate things somewhat. Well, he would leave it alone for now. He had more important things to worry about. He once more went to Louise's side.

"I see. Well, that'll just have to be a problem for another day."

Louise opened her mouth to retort, but before she could do so, a voice rang out in the hall.

"Oh, Louise~!"

It seemed that that voice really annoyed the tiny mage, because she immediately turned to face the culprit. Jiraiya also let his eyes wander over to where Louise was looking and nearly felt his eyes pop out of his head.

Standing before them was a beauty with tan skin, red hair, and a blouse and skirt that were far too small for her assets. Jiraiya could feel a perverted gleam enter his eye at the sight of the beauty.

"Ho ho ho! It seems that your familiar has been enraptured by my beauty, Louise the Zero!"

Louise gained a twitch in her eyebrow at the other girl's comment.

"Shut up, Kirche! And you pervert! Where the hell are you looking!?"

Jiraiya adopted a very serious look at that accusation.

"You've got it wrong, gaki. I'm not a pervert."

Both Kirche and Louise stopped in shock at those words, right when they looked their most confused, Jiraiya continued.

"I'm a Super Pervert!"

This declaration was met with silence for a moment, before Kirche burst out laughing.

"He really is an interesting familiar, nothing on Flame, but still pretty interesting!"

Louise merely moved her wand in a more comfortable position and then Jiraiya was sent flying by an explosion.

"There's no breakfast for perverts!"

That said Louise disappeared up the hall with a flurry of her cloak, Kirche following in amusement behind her.

Jiraiya waited until they were around the corner before he sprang up. A quick crack of his neck and he felt good as new. There was no way something of that caliber would put him down for the count.

"Right then, let's find some food."

Jiraiya then proceeded to jump out the window. He landed on the grass perfectly fine and began to stroll towards a courtyard. When he came upon the courtyard he realized that it had filled up with all the other familiars. Perhaps now would be a good chance to see the other familiars' combat potential.

As he gazed around he noticed that Sylphid was hanging out in the yard. Well, he supposed a dragon had pretty high combat potential and judging by the wary look it was giving him, it knew he was the biggest threat here at the moment.

He was about to go toward the dragon, but he had to stop dead in his tracks. Floating above the ground was a giant eyeball. He had the insane urge to try and enter into a staring contest with the thing.

"What are you supposed to be?"

It was merely a passing comment, he didn't expect to be answered.

"That's a bugbear."

Jiraiya spun around and was barely able to stop himself from attacking the helpful maid from last night. She looked somewhat puzzled by his reaction, but judging by the empty basket that she had, she was either on another laundry run, or had been out here feeding the familiars.

Now that Jiraiya thought about it, just how lazy could these nobles be? They had the servants feed their own familiars? Weren't the familiars supposed to be something they cherished? Shaking his head in consternation, he turned back to Siesta.

"Sorry, but try not to sneak up on me."

Siesta looked truly apologetic, but now that he thought about it, how the hell had she snuck up in him? He was Jiraiya of the freaking Sannin for crying out loud. Some jounin couldn't even achieve something like that. Well, a mystery for another time. He had more important matters to attend to at the moment.

"Hey, Siesta, do you happen to know where the kitchens are?"

Siesta brightened considerably at his question.

"Of course, allow me to show them to you as an apology for startling you."

She finished her explanation with a small bow. Jiraiya merely waved her concern off.

"No, no. That was partly my fault, I got distracted by the, what was it, ah right, bugbear."

Siesta beamed at that.

"Well, then just follow me and I'm sure we can find you something to eat. You must need quite a bit of food for a man your size."

Jiraiya laughed her comment off. He could survive on whatever he needed, but when he could he liked to indulge every once in awhile.

"I'd be much obliged."

Siesta smiled beatifically and made a follow me sort of gesture.

"Okay, this way then."

Jiraiya followed the cheerful maid to a wooden door that was in a small alcove of one of the buildings. He walked in and was immediately assaulted by the smells within the kitchen. He was introduced to the head cook within the kitchen and ushered into a corner that had a small wooden table and chair. He only had to wait a moment and a rich soup and fresh bread was placed in front of him. As well as a mug of what he assumed to be some type of ale.

As he ate he observed the controlled madness that was a kitchen for a school full of nobles. It seemed that breakfast hadn't actually started yet, so Siesta was content to keep him company as he ate, humming a small tune as she steadily peeled some potatoes for the head cook.

Jiraiya felt much more content with a full stomach and stood as soon as he was done. It was at this point that the head cook came over to have a short conversation.

"It's nice to meet you, my name is Marteau, you're the familiar that that Vallière girl summoned correct?"

Jiraiya let out a snort at that.

"Well, I suppose I am in the loosest sense of the word."

Marteau let out a snort at that.

"Tell me, has that noble realized you are an actual human yet, and that you might have other obligations?"

Jiraiya gave a wry smile at this. It seemed that Marteau was actually fairly astute. This could be both good and bad.

"At the moment, my obligations aren't anyone's concerns. There is also the little fact that where I come from I'm considered dead."

Marteau nodded in understanding.

"Right, from what Siesta had told me, you were on death's door when you were summoned here. It's pretty amazing that you grew your arm back."

Jiraiya mere grinned in response to the somewhat questioning statement.

"Well, I'm just lucky in that way every once in awhile. I keep on getting knocked down, but I'm a survivor. It doesn't matter how many times I'm knocked on my ass, I'll just get right back up."

Marteau burst into laughter at that.

"I like you familiar! You've got guts!"

Jiraiya grinned at the man; he felt that he was a pretty tough guy.

"I think you're okay as well. By the way, my name is Jiraiya."

Marteau nodded in acknowledgement, before glancing back to his kitchen.

"I have to get back to work. Well met, Jiraiya."

Jiraiya watched as the cook got back to work and couldn't help the comment that slipped out under his breath.

"Well met indeed."

It seemed that in his conversation with the cook, he had somewhat forgotten the maid that was sitting near him.

"I've never seen Mr. Marteau take such a liking to someone before. You must be a pretty nice guy Mr. Jiraiya!"

Jiraiya just smiled indulgently at the hard working maid. From what he had seen of the nobility so far, he much preferred the company of servants. They were a hard working people and hadn't been broken under the thumbs of the magic wielding nobles.

He sighed as he got up from the table. It was fairly relaxing in this kitchen, much more so than any place other than the clearing that he had been to in this world so far.

"I'm indebted to you Siesta, is there anything I can do to help out?"

Siesta seemed to think it over, before she held out a knife and another potato.

"Perhaps you can help me with these?"

Jiraiya nodded amicably and began to peel the potatoes with the maid. Before long the kitchen was bustling with even more activity as it seemed it was time to finally feed the spoiled brats. Jiraiya stretched as he put down the knife and a finished potato.

"Sorry to say, but I need to get to the dining hall and see what my idiot Summoner is up to."

Siesta seemed a bit saddened, but she offered her assurances that she understood and Jiraiya left the kitchen. As he walked outside he noticed that the sun was really climbing in the sky now. Thankfully it looked as though there was only one of those, so he had no shock for the daytime.

Shaking his head he ambled toward the direction that he could hear the most noise. If there were a gathering of rowdy teenagers every morning, then that would be the place to be. He found the hall easily enough and was able to easily slip into the rafters, especially with his application of the Touton jutsu once more.

He watched as the noble children slowly calmed down as they said a prayer to someone called Brimrir and then began to dig into their meals. It was a somewhat boring affair, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. After all a shinobi's life couldn't be all battles all the time, especially in war. That was where he had perfected his waiting. It was an old friend that he knew quite well.

He watched on as they continued their meal. Except for an occasional flash of magic, they seemed like regular civilian children, even though they were a bit arrogant. He was getting ready to leave when he noticed a commotion happening on the other side of the hall. Directing his gaze in that direction, he felt his eyes widen as he recognized the Casanova from last night, an angry red welt on his face. He was shouting at one of the maids, unfortunately for him, this maid just so happened to be Siesta, who was clearly bowing in fear of angering the boy.

He may have let it slide, but the blonde mage raised his hand to strike the hard working maid, and Jiraiya hated to think that she would have to suffer that kind of abuse from a spoiled brat.

In a flash of leaves, Jiraiya appeared behind the mage, making the crowd gasp in surprise. He easily held the boy's arm, and from the muscle tone, it was clear the boy wasn't used to any kind of weapon or fighting.

"Oi, gaki. I think that's quite enough."

The blonde idiot could only gape in astonishment at Jiraiya for a moment, but it seemed that his bluster would not be denied.

"You dare lay your hands on me, commoner!? I haven't seen you before, unhand me!"

Jiraiya frowned at the kid's attitude. He really hated these types. The ones who walked around and believed the world owed them something. In fact most of the nobles here seemed to be like that, with maybe a few exceptions. He glanced over to the blue haired mage that was standing near the red head from this morning. Perhaps they were friends?

Tabitha was clutching her staff as if it was a lifeline and she was watching him very warily. The redhead had noticed her friend's attention and was now scrutinizing him herself. He also saw a flash of pink in the audience. So, his summoner was in the audience as well. Perhaps this would be a fun opportunity after all.

"Now what reason would you have to strike this maid?"

He cast a quick glance at Siesta and noticed she was openly gaping at him, but her eyes betrayed her fear for him. It seemed people really didn't stand up to nobles in this place.

"She made two fair maidens shed tears. As a purveyor of love, I simply cannot allow that to happen. Therefore she must be punished for her transgressions."

Jiraiya grimaced at the blonde's answer. Great, he was an idiot. He looked to the staff table to see why they had yet to intervene and smiled wryly as they merely looked on in curiosity. After all it was just a noble punishing a servant, nothing to be worried about, no matter the reason. He felt the blonde idiot trying to wrench his arm free, but he simply clamped down tighter, causing the boy to let out a startled cry.

"What are you doing!? Unhand me! I'm perfectly within my rights!"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes; he had a pretty good idea of what had happened.

"So, gaki, you got caught cheating and instead of manning up to it, you decided to blame the help? I don't think I like you much at the moment."

The blonde boy growled in frustration, he was probably pretty used to always getting his way, well that was just too damn bad. Jiraiya was going to protect the kind maid who had helped him, if the blonde wanted to do something about it he needed to get stronger.

"You- How dare you talk to a noble that way!? I challenge you to a duel!"

Jiraiya opened his mouth, but found that he couldn't say anything to that. Had the idiot really just done what he thought he did?

"I'm sorry, I must have some earwax to get rid of, did you just challenge me to a duel?"

Jiraiya made sure to put forth all his incredulity into that statement. However, it looked like it was going to go right over the blonde idiot's head.

"Of course! You've slighted my honor! I must demand a payment, and I demand a duel!"

Well, Jiraiya supposed it might be something to pass the time.

"Very well, gaki. When and where?"

Jiraiya finally let go of the idiot's arm and he rubbed it with tears forming in his eyes.

"The Vestri Court, in one hour!"

His piece said, the idiot walked out of the hall, the majority of the students following after him. Jiraiya pulled a hand over his face. When he glanced over to Siesta, she seemed to be trembling in fear.

"Hey, he won't-"

Unfortunately he was cut off by the now teary eyed maid.

"Please Mr. Jiraiya! If we hurry, you can apologize to Guiche and this whole thing will just blow over! Please don't die for my sake!"

So the idiot's name was Guiche? Jiraiya was about to answer, but he was once more beaten to the punch.

"Familiar!"

Jiraiya winced at the volume in which Louise just shouted. What the hell was up with that girl's voice? However, before he could ponder anything further, the little mage began trying to pull him toward the direction that this Guiche. Needless to say, she didn't have chance in hell of succeeding. It was more like an annoying fly than anything else.

"How could you do something so rash!? We need to apologize to Guiche immediately! Hopefully we can catch him in time."

Jiraiya just sighed at the obvious doubt in his skills. He didn't know exactly how these mages fought, but he'd be damned if someone like Guiche would be able to get the better of him. He was a freaking Sannin, damn it! Of course, the people here didn't know that, and even if he told them, they would probably still be confused.

"Oi, what are all of you so afraid of?"

His question seemed to dumbfound the two girls. Apparently his utter lack of fear might have unnerved them a bit. It was Louise that found her voice first.

"How can a commoner, even if you are some sort of barbarian shaman, possibly beat a mage? It's just not possible!"

Siesta nodded along with Louise's explanation. Well that was quite the blow to his pride. It seemed he would have to put the fear of god into these mages if he was going to be underestimated that much. There was a time when two Akatsuki members would rather flee than fight him, and he was pretty damn sure that this Guiche character wasn't nearly at the level at Itachi or Kisame, even if he was a child prodigy like the Uchiha had been.

Cracking his neck, he began to limber up. He wasn't entirely sure, but he thought he knew of a good way to utterly terrify the nobility here. It would be an interesting test run, even if it didn't work. He looked at the tiny mage that had summoned him.

"I think it's about time I show you why I'm the _Gallant_ Jiraiya. Pay close attention."

His piece said, he made his way toward where the idiot disappeared to. He had a duel to attend after all.

* * *

**What the hell? I woke up this morning and I was like, gonna finish the next chapter of Lucid Berserker Zero today! Got about 500 words in, was like, I'm not feeling it, then to try and unblock me, I wrote this monster. This is the longest chapter I have ever written. I actually got the word count of the chapter higher than 10 grand, even without the Author's note. Damn, but I have a good feeling about this one. I was just sitting around one day, and the idea of Jiraiya getting summoned into Zero no Tsukaima seemed to be really fun. The Super Pervert in a harem anime/manga/light novel, dear god what have I done? But well, his perversion will probably be a bit scaled back, simply because I prefer the crazy badass Jiraiya to the crazy pervert, though I like them both and he will still be his good old perverted self, especially after the battle with Guiche. So yeah.**

**Another thing that I absolutely wanted to do was have him still have the ability to summon toads. Do you know how many fanfiction are out there of Naruto being flung into another dimension/world and not being able to summon toads? A lot. So here I had him able to summon toads, but unable to be reversed summoned. Zero no Tsukaima is perfect for this because if anyone is like, why can this happen like this, I can answer, meh magic. That's not the actual answer, and magic itself is pretty tricky, but it will be a fun answer until stuff gets revealed.**

**Yeah, I think my author's rant is over. I'm gonna try and work on Lucid/Zero tomorrow. Here's hoping I actually finish that chapter. Onto my usual spiel!**

**If this is the first of my works you have read, then welcome, if you are a recurring reader, hello again and welcome to the new story. As it is new I have no beta as of yet and so there may be typos and grammatical errors. Please overlook these, I may just beta this one myself. However, if you are willing to beta for it, please PM me! Questions, comments, concerns? PM me. If you are feeling kind leave a review on your way out. They're not the reason I write, but damn does it sure motivate me every once in awhile. Right, disclaimer time.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Zero no Tsukaima! They belong to Kishimoto Masashi and the late Nobaru Yamaguchi respectively. Please support the official release!**_


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